"Do not fear death, but rather the unlived life."

At 11pm on Wednesday, my last surviving grandmother passed away. She had had a heart attack and a stroke within weeks of each other, and had been struggling since. Finally, her heart just stopped. Death is a hard thing. I never knew her as well as I could have (she's lived about 8 hours away from me my whole life), but I loved her very much.

I had a very hard time for the first night and half day. The thought of death is strange, especially when it's someone you've loved. I struggled with the knowledge that she wasn't suffering and the want to still have her here. I could barely sleep, and it was hard for me to be around my family when I finally woke up. But then I watched one of my favorite movies and one of the quotes really hit me.

"Do not fear death, but rather the unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live."

My grandma has passed, and though I'm not going to forget that and it's not going to stop being hard or sad, I'm still here. I still have life pulsing through my veins and a whole life- an entire world ahead of me.

"Valar morghulis." - All men must die.

But first, I'd like to live.

And I've had the help I need to do so in the form of a boy named Josh and his trusty steed, Ol' Faitful.

Buffalo medicine.

Thank you for being there for me Josh. For making me smile and laugh. For making me forget, but encouraging me to remember. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you, kid.

Untitled

So this is way later than I had hoped to have this finished and up, but here's my first real stop motion! :)

(Made using my Sony A230 and iMovie)

Lately

Just a few photos I've taken within the past month or so. They include a peek at my room, my older sister Laureana, New Mexico Skies, and rain. Beautiful, beautiful rain. The last one is a little preview of something I've been working on and will hopefully be able to show you by tomorrow.

See you guys soon!

The End

 

So here I am about five hours away from the end of an era. (I warn you that I might get a little sentimental right now.) But it's so weird to think that this is the last Harry Potter movie coming out. I mean, the books have all already been released, the theme park has already been opened, and at midnight tonight I'll be seeing the last Harry Potter movie that will ever come out. These things have been a major part of my life since I was like...six. Not to mention that I was pretty obsessed with it since my big brother first read Sorcerer's Stone to me. Some of my favorite memories include playing Harry Potter games with my siblings (and one basically brother), trying to make butterbeer, pretending I was Ginny Weasley (who was my favorite character since she made her first appearance in the second book), and almost throwing up after eating a vomit flavored every flavor bean. Maybe the last one wasn't that great, but still! It's kind of sad to think about. 

Kind of happy too, though. :) I'll always have the memories, right?

Black Felt Hat- Used to be my Grandma's, White Silky Shirt- Mom's Old,  Brown Skinny Belt- Mom's Old, Blue Floral Skirt- Thrifted ($5-10?), Snakeskin Loafers- Thrifted ($1), Seashell Locket- Sort of DIY/Santa Barbara?- I just put it on a chain.

See the video version of this outfit here.

This is actually what I wore yesterday. I ended up changing the skirt for shorts later on so I could run around with my boyfriend and our friend Erik, though. It seems like that's been happening a lot though... I'll be all dressed up when I'm just at home by myself, then I'll end up changing when I go out so I don't have to worry about walking in heels or my skirt blowing up or something. Sometimes it's hard to choose between style and comfort...not that there aren't stylish clothes that are super comfortable too, but a lot of the time it's a bit of a switch off. 

I kind of look like dork.

Last thing! Here's my first stop motion. It's really choppy and kind of lame, but my tripod was out of commission and I couldn't move from this tiny little overhang outside my front door. It would be great if you guys could let me know what you think though! :)

Hope you guys are all doing well! Have a great night.

XO

Victoria

My hair seems to have gone...

So...as you'll see in a few pictures, the majority of my hair is gone! I had decided a couple of weeks ago that I needed a change, and that I wanted to donate my hair...so a few days ago I finally got it done! I've had long hair for almost all my life, so I was a little nervous. 

Apparently my nervous face looks like this:

But luckily for me, it really wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. In fact, I ended up being way less nervous about it than I usually am when I just get bangs! Haha. The things I freak out about really don't make sense sometimes.

So there it is. 15 inches of hair that I'll be donating to Locks of Love. It's really weird to have my hair in my hand, but for it to not actually be on my head. Surprisingly though, having short hair doesn't feel all that different than having long. I thought that there would be some crazy difference since it was sooo long before, but the only time I really notice it is when I go to take a necklace off or something. I kind of miss having long hair, but I'm definitely getting used to the short, and I think I like it. :) And I hope that it will make a difference to someone else out there too. 

Trench Coat- Thrifted ($10), White and Grey Striped Tshirt- Walmart ($4), Skinny Jeans- TJ Maxx ($15), Black Suede Pumps- UO ($30, $40, $50?), Guitar/Ukulele Pin- Thrifted ($.25), Bunny Ring- Ebay ($3?), Gold Earrings- Savers ($.99) 

It's been really interesting getting dressed in the morning. A lot of my clothes look really different with short hair...some better, some worse. But I've enjoyed playing around! I know it's early to start thinking about this, but I'm just not sure what I'll do when it starts growing out. What do you guys like better on me? Long or short? Ah well, I still have more than enough time to figure it out!

One last thing, thank you all so much for your support with my Grandma and the fires. Both are doing much better! My grandma is still in the hospital, but she's improving. And the fires are all almost fully contained now. And it's been raining!!! In fact it's doing so as I type! I love you, monsoon season. :)

Take care everyone!

Love, 

Victoria

That's how you know.

You know that your boyfriend loves you when he leaves his beautiful, brand new copy of A Dance with Dragons under your pillow so you can read some of it before he goes to work in the morning. Especially since he somehow got his hands on a copy before they were even supposed to be released (he got it yesterday...it wasn't supposed to be out until today)! Sure, I'm having some withdrawals now, but it was the sweetest thing in the world. So thank you Josh. :) I love you.

(You might have had to have read the books to really understand with this is such a huge deal :) )

fire and rain

My state is literally on fire. New ones are popping up almost every day, sometimes several a day. As of right now, New Mexico is the driest it's been in something like 116 years and it is the driest state in the country. The biggest fire in the state's history is burning and still growing about an hour and a half away from where I live. So far there haven't been any fires nearer to us than that- I'm lucky enough to live in one of the greenest places in my state- but it's still scary. The pictures above are of the fires we saw on our way home from seeing my Grandma. My dad and I saw three fires in seven hours- two of which had just started. I'm getting too used to bloody sunsets and smoke filled skies.

Yesterday and the day before it rained. I guess it didn't even really rain. It sprinkled a bit. But  at this point, we need anything we can get. And it could be a sign that the monsoon season isn't too far away. Either way, it was beautiful while it lasted.

These songs really fit the way I've been feeling.

Peter Pan collared shirt- Thrifted ($.50), floral shorts- Target ($16)