Sunday, July 31, 2011

"Do not fear death, but rather the unlived life."

At 11pm on Wednesday, my last surviving grandmother passed away. She had had a heart attack and a stroke within weeks of each other, and had been struggling since. Finally, her heart just stopped. Death is a hard thing. I never knew her as well as I could have (she's lived about 8 hours away from me my whole life), but I loved her very much.

I had a very hard time for the first night and half day. The thought of death is strange, especially when it's someone you've loved. I struggled with the knowledge that she wasn't suffering and the want to still have her here. I could barely sleep, and it was hard for me to be around my family when I finally woke up. But then I watched one of my favorite movies and one of the quotes really hit me.

"Do not fear death, but rather the unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live."

My grandma has passed, and though I'm not going to forget that and it's not going to stop being hard or sad, I'm still here. I still have life pulsing through my veins and a whole life- an entire world ahead of me.

"Valar morghulis." - All men must die.

But first, I'd like to live.

And I've had the help I need to do so in the form of a boy named Josh and his trusty steed, Ol' Faitful.

Buffalo medicine.

Thank you for being there for me Josh. For making me smile and laugh. For making me forget, but encouraging me to remember. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you, kid.


  1. I am so sorry for your loss, Victoria. I hope that God helps you through this hard time. I'm definitely praying for you and your family! Just know that Jesus love's you!


  2. Victoria, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I know how hard it is to lose a grandparent, but I also know that they never really leave you - pictures, videos, family stories - they all keep their memory alive. So hang in there, and know that your grandmother is watching out for you :)

  3. Such a sweet post. Sending sweet thoughts your way dear!